Once upon a time Kevin’s daughter Tamara came home with a school library book. It had pictures on it of hideous looking creatures and the name was written in a writing that seemed to suggest witchcraft or some dark magic stuff. I don’t even know how that looks but that is what Kevin saw when he looked at that book. Immediately he wore his judges’ hat. How can the school indoctrinate children to the forces of evil at such a tender age of 10? How can they allow books on black magic to be on the school shelf? He was furious and immediately confiscated the book, with a stern warning to Tamara to never read such a book or she would be possessed by demons and whisked away to the devil’s kingdom. He sought to engage a few other parents to get the books withdrawn from school but they seemed not interested so he let it be. He had secured his own so it was up to them to deal with the consequences of not managing what their children read.

Fast forward 8 years later. The day is a cold July Friday; the time 8 pm. Kevin and his daughters have a family movie night and today the girls are choosing what they would watch. He was all set with a cosy throw and a glass of his favourite brandy in hand. The girls were also cosy in their couches and they switched off the lights as the movie is about to begin. Tamara turns to her dad and says: “Dad, you must promise to watch whatever movie we have chosen”. Kevin is suspicious. What if it is pornography? Or murderous action? Or a cartoon show? He cannot say a blanket no. They insist and ask him to trust them. He can’t…how can he? He brought them up well, that much he knows. He taught them well, gave them a chance to be themselves, instilled the love and fear of God in them (I guess more of the fear) so their up-bringing he can trust. They have so far turned out well, never lied or gone against what they have been taught therefore they too he can trust. So, wait: who is it that he cannot trust? Who his children are or how he brought them up? See, it is judgement day already. It always is. Our choices, our actions or inaction is quite often driven by judgement. Sometimes so subtle that we do not see it but it is there. In this case, Kevin was afraid because of what others have been put through in similar situations. What similar situations? He wasn’t sure but …well, judging is one thing we humans do best. You know what? Let’s do this. Kevin decided to prove all these voices in his head right or wrong once and for all. He conceded, got cosy and waited albeit with bated breath.

The movie begins with a scene in a family house, a lovely neighborhood, some good family people…. see: it is good. I was right, and my girls too are right. They are not capable of murder. The title comes up and Kevin gasps! He swallows all the cognac that was in the glass in one gulp and sits up. It is the title of the book he had asked Tamara not to read 8 years ago! How could she? After all these years and now she wants me to watch what I had condemned? He switched on the lights. Thank God for sitting near the light switch. “Dad, stop”, they both shout in unison like some rehearsed choreography duet. Tamara looks at him in the eye and asks him to trust her this once, then comment after the show is over. His insides are turning, his heart thumping and he may even be running a slight fever. He opens his mouth to say a few (well…many) things but hesitates. He then shuts his mouth and decides to go all the way. He is not one to be beaten and this time he will throw it in their face how right he was all these years. Nevertheless, he whispers a prayer binding all the demons in the movie, and praying they may be covered and protected all through. That their mind and hearts will not be taken hostage by evil. Then they watch. They watch it, all of it; to the end. Kevin actually enjoyed it…no, loved it! It was a lovely movie after all!

After the movie the girls turn to look at his face, glee written all over theirs. They could see he was enjoying the movie. Never once did he see a demon (well, we can assume they were bound away so none could show up) nor feel like he was under a hex of sorts. This time his younger daughter Grace asked him what he feared: what was it that made him stop Tamara from reading the book 8 years ago? Today was definitely not Kevin’s day. He was very honest with her: a lot of things. The title, the pictures on the cover, what some people said about it…. surely, she was not implying he was wrong! With a cheeky smile Grace told him how she had read the book and so had Tamara those many years ago. They both had not seen anything wrong with the book and had even forgotten all about it until they saw a movie about it. They had decided it would be a good way to let dad know it was not so bad a book after all. Kevin was touched. They say when you stop learning you die. Parenting is indeed a school by itself; with an ample supply of hard and easy lessons. They laughed at the past, said their prayers and parted to go to bed.

Kevin took a while to fall asleep. As he lay in the dark, his mind wondered. Why do we hold certain beliefs? Is it because of something one knows or went through? Is it something that was said to you or you overheard? Is the foundation for what one believes solid or some shaky rumor that they heard? How do these beliefs shape our choices? Some wise person (I will one day want to meet these wise people who were so right it hurts) once said that we should not judge a book by its cover. We should seek to understand before we judge. This takes intention and practice. Living life without being judgmental is almost an art: something we learn and perfect every day with practice. Thinking through the day that has been, how many instances did we jump to a conclusion? Was the basis good enough?

It was humbling indeed for Kevin to admit he was wrong but well worth the lesson. He learnt that he had brought up his girls well: teaching then to seek to know more instead of taking everything based on others’ opinions. To also be honest and not be ashamed of their choices. He too had learnt that it was never too late to apologize for past ills and that in future he would get off the judgement seat and seek to know first: to really know the truth, then allow that truth to be a basis for his judgement.