The room was busy with the evening chit-chat that precludes gala events. The ladies gingerly balanced on their pretty heels, their flattering gowns lighting up the room. The gentlemen hovered around in their tuxedos and bow ties; like moths, they danced from one table to another seeking that elusive light that may warm their hearts. The atmosphere around the room was lively and the cool evening breeze kept the heat low. The sun set beautifully on the horizon. It was not every day we get to experience sundowners, so Tandi took it all in. She stood quietly on the balcony, a champagne flute in hand and a pretty silver clutch in the other. She leaned slightly back against the wall and admired the sunset.

Across the room, Kaya watched her from the corner of his eye. He had observed that she only made small talk and was not as chatty or into coquettish laughter as the other girls. There was an elegance around her cool, calm, and collected nature. She was also beautiful. Many a gentleman had approached her but she graciously smiled and somehow managed to wriggle away. Kaya could not hold it any longer and as he lifted his head with a firm resolve to approach her, their eyes met. For a moment a lightning bolt shot across the room, unbeknown to everyone else but to Tandi and Kaya. It was a hot fleeting second, but both their hearts skipped a beat as they quickly looked away.

Kaya paused a brief second to regain his composure and slowly edged his way towards Tandi; stopping now and then to make small talk all the while stealing her glances. When he eventually got to her, her big beautiful black eyes knocked the breath out of him. He found his voice and mustered a greeting to which she smiled and responded. That smile! His heart threatened to burst his ribcage and his palms were sweaty. He had never felt this way toward a girl. After the pleasantries and introductions, just as Kaya was picking up a conversation, the organizer rang a small bell to usher everyone into the hall. They walked in together and took a table together. It was one of those charged evenings; at the end of which Kaya shared his card with Tandi and got hers.

They say Cupid shoots an arrow of love to a lover’s heart but this one had received a whole quiver of arrows. Kaya and Tandi met often. They sat for long hours watching sunsets and talking about nothing in particular. The days flew past but something was not quite adding up. Kaya had noticed that every time he reached out to Tandi for a date, she was not available but he was available for her whenever she was in the mood for company or a moment of passion. Despite the hot embers that glowed in their hearts, Tandi had treated Kaya unkindly on several occasions. Not the obvious, violent type of unkindness but subtle, snide, and degrading comments to him. She had stood him up severally and without so much as an apology. They had long chats about abstract topics but nothing personal. Each of them was guarded and not willing to be vulnerable. Amidst their passionate moments and the chemistry, their relationship did not grow.

One evening after dinner as they sat listening to music and Kaya gently stroked her long, beautiful hair, he cleared his throat and asked Tandi what she thought the future held for them. She remained quiet and continued staring into space. Kaya was not sure whether she had heard him. After a long, awkward silence, Kaya gently nudged her and they sat up facing each other. He repeated the question. She looked at him and said she was not sure. She wasn’t sure if she wanted a relationship, whether she wanted to get married or whether she wanted to seriously date Kaya. They say Cupid’s arrows never miss their mark, but they leave nasty exit wounds. Tandi’s responses pierced Kaya’s heart like a knife. Was she seeing someone else?

She quietly insisted she didn’t know if she wanted to begin a serious relationship with Kaya or not, and that she had no timeline to give him. She did not respond to whether she was seeing someone else. The rest of the evening went by quietly. Both were lost in their heads, perhaps processing the conversation that had gone by.

The next few weeks passed by quickly. Tandi vanished save for an occasional hello but one day out of the blue she indicated how much she had missed Kaya; something she had never done before. Kaya was confused and elated all at once. He was almost giving up but there was a glimmer of hope and he purposed to give them a chance.  They picked up again but two months later Tandi went quiet. She seemed preoccupied, though she assured Kaya that all was well. She waltzed back into his life and even invited him out, only to withdraw slowly over the next few weeks. This went on for months. They would have these great weeks together and Tandi would even spend a few days at his place and treat Kaya extra well then vanish. No fights, just distance.

Kaya was getting exasperated. It slowly dawned on him that he was holding on even when Tandi had made it clear that this was likely going nowhere. She had invited him to a meal of heartbreak, and he had gladly put his heart on the table and allowed the two of them to feast on it. The bliss of the moments they shared left him elusively hanging on to the possibility that they had; hankering for the next high like a love addict. Kaya had choices to make. He needed to pick himself up, collect the broken pieces of his heart and nurse them back to health. He had fallen in love with the idea of falling in love with Tandi. …..but for now, to each their own!