It is morning and time to get up. The alarm goes off and the sun is peeping shyly from behind the clouds in the horizon. It is warm and cozy in the bed and oh so cold outside! Do I have to get up? Can’t I just snooze a few more minutes? Just a few. I close my eyes and 30 minutes later, I bolt out of bed! I am getting late and the adrenaline rush as I run helter-skelter to make up for the extra snooze minutes is out of this world. I could have just woken up when the alarm rung. But I just snoozed, just a bit. Yet I forget I had a choice. To get up or snooze and as they say, choices have consequences.

I get into traffic and because I am late, there is a build-up. This big white car overlaps and rejoins the queue in front of me. I honk, mad at him for bullying me on the road. “Just because I am a woman, nkt” I muse. I honk again, loudly; this time just to make a point. He ignores and drives on. I am fuming and can hardly hear the sweet melodies playing on my car stereo. He too like me was late to start the day and we are now stuck in the mad morning traffic that is characteristic of Nairobi. Did he have to overlap? Not quite, but he chose to. And I chose to make noise at him and get mad. I chose to stop listening to the music and I missed to admire the now golden sunrise and instead fume over some junkie who doesn’t give a damn. Not at all. Is it worth it? But I made the choice. I gave him my peace, my joy, my happy moment. Really?

I get to work and settle. I have tasks with tight deadlines. It is a busy morning. But my WhatsApp won’t stop beeping. Oh; and by the way have you seen the new carpets on sale at Kilimani mums market place? I wonder what the latest dresses look like. I switch between my phone and my computer. I reply to a message here and read a quote there. I admire the couple that posted their wedding photos and smile at my friend’s new baby…..she is so cute! My boss peeps through the door and I promise to have the document on his desk in an hour’s time. I would have finished if this work was not so much. Or is it? Did I just make another choice? To divide my attention between my work and my phone? The report is done in a record 40 minutes but half of it is sent back for corrections. I know I can do better if my boss never fussed so much over the small things. Or did I do a shoddy job because I chose to divide my attention?

It is evening and my phone rings. It is Gloria. We haven’t met in a while but I heard she is around town. She has nice stories, makes me laugh and has interesting ideas. None of them are in my priority list but they are good to hear. None of them are of my kind, or speak to my purpose in life. They are hers. I do not have to sit and listen but what the…I still do! She asks if am available to have coffee with her this evening. I was to go to the gym but wait: the gym is always here but not Gloria. I pause, then give a huge ‘yes’. Wait; did I just make another choice? To give away my personal development time for a coffee date I hadn’t planned? Did I just choose someone else over myself? Anyway, the evening goes well and we part ways at around 7pm as Gloria has a date and has to attend a business meeting. I felt like a trash can. She was loaded, needed something to vent on and I was there. Available. Always. Why? Try calling her: she has this and that commitment so maybe another day. Do I never learn? I guess the dictionary I use doesn’t have the words ‘No’ and ‘Choice’. The printer must have deleted those. Because they are not part of my lingo, never heard of them; I don’t relate.  

As I get into my car, I wonder what to have for dinner. I am actually hungry. I joined my friends for salad over lunch and I know I need a proper meal. In any case I was late and missed breakfast as I zoomed off to work. But wait: I was to buy fruits and some meat on the way. The place is now closed and getting to the supermarket will take me an extra hour. I decide to still go, just for me. I finally chose me. Little do I know that it will be two hours of mad traffic. By the time I get home it is after 9pm, and am yet to cook dinner. Really? What became of time nowadays? It seems to have an aversion for me. It grew wings and not just a pair: seems my time has four pairs of wings coz it flies really fast. I am tired, hungry and frustrated. Today just was not my day, or did I choose to make it not my day? I watch Game of Thrones as dinner cooks and it is midnight by the time I drag myself to bed. The day is gone; over and done with! What did I do with it? Not sure but damn, it has ended! I set my alarm for tomorrow 6am. As the sun rises yet again and the alarm rings, I have another chance. Another opportunity to choose. This time, I had better get them damn choices right. Or else, the years will fly by with nothing much to show but a tired, old looking and unhealthy body and weary soul trudging through every day as if it were a punishment.

Instead, I choose to have it different. I choose to take charge, to be wise, and very intentional. I choose to get it right this time. I choose to love, to forgive and to be strong. I choose to take care of me. What do you choose? To continue reading? Or to……