It was a beautiful day. I slept in and had a lazy morning. It was lovely to be on leave and even more pleasant to take a step back from the hustle and bustle of everyday living. I had a few errands to run in the course of the day but none was time-sensitive so I took my sweet time. After a late breakfast, I showered and took my little bag. It was raining outside but it did not bother me. The air smelt so good and the splutter of the rain on the car window was soothing. The traffic was heavy too but it did not bother me. I was not in a hurry.

I finished my errands late in the afternoon and was famished. I wanted pizza and pizza I went in search of. It was one of those days when you get two of the regular pizzas for the price of one so the queue was long. It would take 35 minutes to have my pizza done. I chose a spot outside and sat down to wait, as I played on my phone.

I looked across the street and saw some vendors with their wares displayed on the side of the road. They sold shoes, clothes, toys, and food items to passersby. One girl in particular, was surrounded by very many women: it seemed she sold something they liked and business was doing well. As I watched, the cops suddenly showed up and in the twinkling of an eye, they had confiscated the goods from those vendors who could not run fast enough. The young lady was left devastated after her wares were taken away. She burst into tears as she ran in the opposite direction. This was a very risky venture. One risked making a profit or losing all in equal measure and I am not sure I had the courage to do that. My heart went out to her but the rumbling of my hungry tummy brought my wandering thoughts back. Yet tomorrow she would be there again. The risk of arrest and eventual loss still there, the lure of the possible profits kept these people on the street selling despite the attacks.

I looked at the tables across from me at the food joint. How many of us were in similar situations? In relationships, situationships, and friendships whose risk vs returns we had not bothered to assess? Getting by every day, wasting our time and emotions on potentially futile ventures where we risked losing all and gaining nothing? Every human connection comes with a benefit. From the material, emotional, physical/sexual to spiritual benefits, we stand to gain in one way or the other by relating with others. Some connections carry more benefits than others while others do not add any value to us, although they may be very beneficial to the other person. These connections also carry some risks. They may take away the little (or much) that we have. We risk rejection, discord, being taken advantage of, used or abused, being hurt or hurting the other person.

Like any wise business person will say, any venture needs to be assessed for the risks vs benefits. We then proceed to undertake only those with benefits that outweigh the risks. No entrepreneur will put their money in a loss-making business. If we can be so careful with our money, what of our lives, emotions, and time? What do I gain by spending an hour or two with this person? Does it jeopardize me in any way? Am I at risk of the dreaded D’s-deceit, disease or death? The business gurus say that higher-risk investments carry a greater potential for good returns but the risks have to be calculated. We do not jump to the deep end of the pool without a floater and not knowing how to swim.

My wandering thoughts were interrupted by the voice calling out the order numbers. My order was ready for collection. I smiled behind my mask at the thought of the yummy pizza I was about to collect, but a process had begun in my mind. As the year drew to a close in a few days, it was time to take stock and assess how many loss-making relations I had and to close those that were no longer serving their purpose. I was already looking forward to 2022 but for now, it was time to enjoy my pizza. At least this one was profitable!